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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Feeling Cheated??? straight from the heart.... you deserve it !!!

Today ,I enjoyed a lot, celebrated my promotion party , bash started with a movie “Love Sex and Dhokla(oops it was Dhoka), So Love was good, Sex was blurred and in lowlight and Dhokha mein we all feel embittered ,this movie had three stories using above three as platforms, mob in the hall acknowledged love , rest left the aboard after sex , those who appreciate the concept of” Value for money” were courageous enough to hang around till the end and while departure we were in dilemma of what we’ve gone through, w e eight people came out of the hall and our hands were up, because a punishment is better then what we had, well that was surmountd in few minutes after some alcoholic texture in a small pub near that mall,(actually I got to know it’s a conspiracy of this mall management crew of creating such temples near to such mall, because nowadays malls are the places where we all feel cheated )

Well what I know from my own, whatever modest it is experience that almost all of us feel upset, confused or feel cheated at some point in life. Some of us feel it very frequent (like me, an easy victim) and some not so frequent.....however this is not to say that people who do not feel such hurt/confusion etc actually do not counter such events ,the difference is mainly how the people interpret the events, there is not much we can do to evade such events because although many a times we may be able to control their occurrence but also many a times they are just random events which can happen to any one of no matter what level of protection one may go for one may end up facing those unpredictable and random events.....

So what to do??? just pay no attention to these events and do nothing or act passively and behave like a masochist who enjoys getting hurt and humiliated ....not the solution for such unpredictable events lies in changing our cognition about needs to see them in the right perspective and get as much as possible from these events ...learn from these events so that we can utilize them to shape up our own personality.....

Too much of an coming to the point......

almost all of us must have faced theft, heartbreak, superfluous criticism, mocked about, cheated, lied upon etc ...the list is continuous because it is subjective and depends on what makes a particular person feel bad, in the same way on the optimistic side we also feel loved cared about, kindness forgiveness etc..but this I will deal in the last part of post because positive feeling like these usually do not obstruct our day to day living unlike the negative feelings

basically every person who enters in our life has a purpose to fulfill and a lesson to teach. It is up to us whether we open this book and learn the concept and apply it later in life or just forget the lessons we learned .similarly we can also decide which way we want to teach the other person a lesson about life i.e. in positive way or a negative way. so instead of getting bogged down by such unwanted events one must utilize them and continue with life.

the question that bothered me was 'if all of us were created by God and supposedly a part of God resides in all of us then why do sometimes people treat the other humans so shabbily ...i mean God treating his own subjects(or for that matter his own part)badly..............(i no longer subscribe to this view of God, religion etc but the quest to find the answer did in fact enlightened me and that is what I want to share with you ),during this hunt I came across some of the writings by some enlightened men/women and what I learned from that is what I want to write in this post, here are some of the common instances having the potential to make us feel bad and also the ways to look about them positively

when someone lies to us and we also happen to find out that she/he lied, our natural reaction is that of feeling bad and it causes anxiety, anger etc.....but we can learn from this event that truth is not what we see or hear but sometimes we need to dig deeper this knowledge when gained can help us in dealing people who have their businesses running on lies .....e.g politicians .advertisements, religious institutions, lobbies for or against some issue etc are to name the few. this understanding trains our mind to seek truth behind the masks that people wear and not blindly believe what authorities tell us...."we have to take truth as authority and not authority as the truth"...

with so many challenges of life ...increasingly sophisticated means of cheating people it becomes all the more important that we do our own homework properly first before taking any decision rather than repenting or blaming someone else later

next lesson we can get is when a person steals something from basically teaches that things are not there with us forever and we need to respect what we have in our hand and always appreciate it ... our friends,family,well wishers are not going to stay with us forever. Enjoy the moments we spend with them because future holds no guarantee so enjoy the very present and go with the flow. Trying to be extra caring, for you expect something in return at the later date is not a nice thing. they may not be there very next moment so unconditional regard and love is best we can give to them .expectation can lead to frustrations when they are not met and spoil the relation and worst eat up your productive energy

another thing to be learned is through teaches one very simple thing that loving a person does not means that the other person will love you back equally ....however the process should never stop because one day the right people will reciprocate and the joy of meeting such people will increase many fold ,when we are mocked or made to look like a buffoon it simply tells us that no two people are alike in this world and that is what makes us unique...we can appreciate the differences better than those who still laugh on those different from them. the wisdom gained helps us to judge people on the basis of what they have inside their hearts and not what their outer appearances suggests. We can become more tolerant of others and enjoy different things in life.....

as per an old Chinese story a monk told his disciples that those who laugh on others are cruel people ..those who laugh on themselves are mature and those who understand the world around them and attain enlightenment they can finally smile on the strange ways of world. it is like the strange smile of BUDDHA when he learned the truth about the world

when someone holds a grudge against us it teaches that all of us can make mistakes and when we are wronged by someone the most virtuous thing we can do is forgive that person because it requires real courage to do that...because it frees your energy from this pursuit of revenge or anger which you can invest in some constructive pursuit......because it breaks the chain of negative energy when you act like a shock absorber. Someone cheating you teaches that it is a great challenge to resist the temptations of eating the forbidden fruit ...the wisdom helps us understand that our temporary pleasures can destroy our long term goals also teaches that how the greed is the root cause of all the evils ,when we are ridiculed it teaches that no one is perfect in this world so accept people for what they are with their strengths and with their flaws. Someone should not be rejected for a flaw over which he/she had no control

now coming on to the positive aspects or events that teach us about life when a person loves us it teaches us kindness,charity,honesty,forgiveness,humility,acceptance etc ,going by the logic of balance of the system every bad deed is balanced by some good deed....however the impact of love is more potent .but the problem is the lessons of love are not taught much and the power is often misused,so it is in our own hands at last ,that when we enter peoples life, by chance or by plan, whether we want to teach love or the harsh reality of life

at the end of the day one can see as to what was my contribution in the goodness and badness of the world.....we may choose to tilt the balance in favor of bad or good the choice is always ours,the irony of life however is that although love is always more powerful....the number of people who think and act otherwise is always more .because the people who are able to understand these truth are not much ....and even if the people who preach love equality and brotherhood are there they are silenced by the people who thrive on hate, lies and can see what happened to Gandhiji..

However this fight between the good and the bad is like the mythical churning of ocean by angels and demons (as in Hindu mythology) which produces both poison and elixir and other magnificent concepts. Like scientific advancements and weapons. Like vaccines/medicines and biochemical-nuclear hazards, like Mother Teresa and Hitler/G.W.Bushn .it is must for the working of the system. However the aim should not be to join the already swollen ranks of evil but the small but committed force of angels...after all none of us want the balance to be tilted in favour of evil…

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