Love Aaj Kal!!! Udi baba ….

people say that love is blind, deaf and dumb....I see a new twist in these three characteristics but not in love rather in break-ups. How a person misses out the cues which are at times as subtle as a bomb explosion!!!!
Is that the reason some one very aptly said that there is no difference between a fool and a man in love????
talking about the present day lovers ,people part their ways and generally those who part on good terms say that they parted mutually ...but I wonder and so do many people that, is this parting really mutual ??
generally one of the party is always the one who has already decided about the so called break up, what exactly happens later is the job to convince the other partner that they sit together and 'mutually' decide the future of relation
from what i know about these relations there is seldom a mutual breakup.
there is difficulty in directly giving the pink slip so people try giving subtle cues which is an unconscious exercise because person is still him/herself in a state of confusion as to how to put it without the acrimony and when this unconscious attempt to convey the message with the help of subtle cues , fails there arises the need to 'sit and talk'.
one can generally get the cues like ...latent anger of the partners for the things he/she earlier enjoyed with/about the partner.....forgetting the important facts/dates/choices/dislikes etc......not returning the calls/messages....
.....and ya one of my favourites,a hate or flirty message delivered to your phone and an explanation given that it was by mistake or a friend used the cell phone to send message to her partner and by mistake it went to u
another one of my favourite subtle cue is curtness in the behaviour of your partner's friends.Oh boy! one should see the fire in the eyes,especially of female friends,which is intense and piercing enough to give a glimpse of burning hell
more over a late learner ,like me ,can be totally clueless in his/her first or second times(more like third/fourth time for blokes like me)
basically the hope ,which is behind all this delayed response of a person to the 'subtle as a bomb' clues of another partner
person thinks that it is just his/her figment of imagination....or once in a while bad hair day of another person.all the while hoping and thinking all the positive things about the another person
so basically it is these blind ,dumb and deaf people who 'force' the other partner to suggest to 'mutually sit and talk'.generally the tone and temper during this whole 'talk' is calm and sombre and the one who 'suggests' that 'we need to talk' is very calm,poised....i think it is natural because unlike other party he/she is not 'surprised'
the very adept ones ....even go a step furthur and even put the whole onus on the 'surprised' party...so basically by the time he/she emerges from the 'guilt' of reason behind break-up...it is already few months late for any any knee jerk reaction which can jeopardise the 'image' and 'interests' of the other party
The 'Champions of break-ups' can even 'offer' to remain 'good friends' even after this whole episode and even 'forgive' the other one.
basically the reasons for a break-up could be any but the gist can be understood by an example of a 'product'.
like every thing has an expiry date, so does a relation has.......like a person simply becomes bored of a product,similarly he/she can become bored of a person......
like sometimes a product is picked up for just to try something new,similarly a person can be picked up may be to have a feel of what being in 'love' feels like........
like a product serves a purpose and becomes useless after some time ,so does a relation....
like better product comes in the market,so does a better alternative for a relation....
more importantly like one can choose a bad product based on effective advertising,so can a person make a mistake in choosing wrong person ,based upon some superficial qualities or a good first impression
.....I accept that my analogy is very crass as I compared something so wonderful as love with something materialistic, but mind you folks here even i am not talking about deep,meaningful,let's get old together love but the normal trend of 'girlfriends and boyfriends' which is many a times shallow and guided more out of curiosity or peer pressure to look cool etc
as long as this is something of a teenage/collegiate kind of 'just do it' type of love that is more guided out of hormones and not by emotionality,spirituality,maturity of personality....there is no problem because this is not love but rather infatuation or attraction.however for people who long for the more serious type of love this whole break up thing can be a pretty goofed up experience
Being not a blind .deaf,dumb for the 'subtle as a bomb' cues can help a person salvage some of his/her own self respect in own eyes and lots of unnecessary heartache.The problem however is, no matter how much a person gets to know about these pitfalls through friends,books and 'blogs' they would still make same mistakes.it is only after some experience that they can truly understand the pitfalls and then.... they can 'even write the blogs to guide others' !!!!!there is how ever a little flip side to it ...someone with a history of real bad insecurity can actually mistake even a normal act as an act of 'warming-up exercise before the break up'. insecurity can really serve as a classic example of 'The Butterfly Effect' where one tiny flutter of a butterfly's wing can lead to typhoon somewhere else ....that is a cascading effect.
frankly speaking as i have written in my post about insecurity,overcoming insecurity is a tough job but it is not impossible.but in one's best interest it has to be solved very early in life because it can give rise to many other problems in life and lot many losses personally and professionally as well
as i see it insecure people many times turn inward to find faults in a relation and may sometimes unnecessarily blame themselves for some faults........if a person is secure then he/she knows what his/her real worth is ,the cheap and lowlife problems regarding human nature cease to bother and he/she can objectively see the cause ,or at least accept causes when shown by others
just imagine the mental plight of someone insecure who is deaf,dumb and blind in love....oh boy it a sure-shot recipe for a disaster....
overcoming insecurity can really help person know one's own worth because it teaches one to love oneself unconditionally and also helps to accept people as they are

Being single is being happy!!!stop excuses you jerk…

Third law of Love :: For every idiot there is an equal and opposite gender idiot ...... Singles are people with incomparable intelligence

I am single offcourse not by choice but by chance, still misses her like anything at times, still when i saw her messages or hear her name, I always skips a beat in my heart, however I feel better than ever , because she gave me a reason to believe that I am not that Mr. Perfect and still have good potential to groom myself mentally if not physically.

Now I am independent , no need to get indulge into any kind of non sense conversation of Pink color butterfly on red neck sausage bottle of Punjabi grill and eventually ending on a remorseful conclusion on a tiny ear ring.

Well whatever!!! today I started writing again after a decent interval, so many things happened in between, never got enough time to pen down my latest fantasies into essay types post facilitated (or powered) by my third class examples, making you all believe that somebody has gone crazy and still trying to prove that he is among the best possible human species mankind can ever have or had ….

So today I saw my each and every post once again and at times I thought I am really good but as soon as I start believing it , I crawl over to next paragraph where all my dreams of becoming a good writer seems to be in vain, coz some paragraphs are really pathetic , if any one of you managed to read my posts , you surely deserve a pat on your back after surviving reading such crap.

Well meanwhile I am writing this post , I am getting into my old senti zone, possibly she is doing it again, she’s again the culprit for all kind of tortures you all gonna have for next few line(ooops!!! paragraphs).

Is there any way of getting out of it, I swear god , I hate this thing and I wanted to get rid of this, but somehow i think I am addicted to this pain, and I am kind of liking it, I am going back and forth to it again and again, and only to get more depressed , and still managing to survive another day , it seems this whole world has gone crazy to entertain you , be it actors , directors, painters, cricketers, jokers , singers , musicians etc… all of them are working tediously to make you happy , and if you still manage to stay upset then you are being too harsh on yourself and not anybody else.

See we are sometimes very eager to give explanations for things , for which we don’t really have an explanation , so what if I stumbled in life, so what if I made a wrong choice , but I know deep inside it’s not difficult to regain , I know what i am … a single mistake cannot change me. I know everything is nice around me , life has everything to enjoy , but I don’t know why I feel alone, why I feel so incomplete , I know the answers but wish I didn’t.

I am not seeking any advice , I know advice is what we ask when we already know the answer, I know deep down inside why I am writing this , why I read all my blogs once again, I absolutely agree with some of the points penned down by my enlightened mind and yes some of them made me think otherwise. I am a confused person, a big time complex in my thoughts which actually justifies my blog title.

This comment can create controversy and yes affect my self-respect but i am still not able to figure out the conclusion, i've written all this thing nicely ,in fact in my blogs , i tried to put some simple , direct ‘dil se’types things but…..

See, being in love is very beautiful and the best thing for sure, watching your fantasies converting into realities is second best!

Yes most of the times its starts with superficial traits of the other gender, probably understanding factor overrides later on. But at this phase when one tries to make it work, because one can feel loyalty, compromises and commitment as utterly important riders for love.

I am deviating from the topic in renowned way, but if this thought is in my mind then I should express it, we both had awesome moments, still feel attracted to her, tried to save my relationship, not able to manage my last communication. then you seek help, whatever help you get works as a lead for you, it feels like that you are on a hunt, each time when you feel that you are there, it’s just changes the path, then you have to start all over again , there is no other feeling other then disappointment, hopelessness and helplessness , you know more the time you take more the distance you make ,you have to do something , anything just to make your presence felt, you do all the crazy things, that’s when your blind, deaf and dumb kind of love comes into existence , the world is totally against of you, you know it deep inside that nothing left, then this love pushes you , shows you invisible leads , those were never existed earlier and then this mirage will kill your identity , your mental state, your self-respect, your ego ,just for the sake of a bloody emotion…. Love!!!

Dude that’s when you feel restless, all you want is break up , you just want to get out of it, you want to close all the open chapters , all you want this to be done mutually , let’s sit and talk, what’s wrong in that, every second couple in this world had breakup, why you want your breakup to be unusual ? Sooner or later every wound will heal up , scar would remain there forever. Just you trusted your partner more than anything else, you were expecting some understanding and that’s where so called “mental level” precedes understanding.

This vanishes all the beautiful memories and create ultimate frustration and irritation, first you try to accept the things, initially you find yourself successful in doing that, you try to move on, then suddenly some cute event repeats themselves, then you start missing her again, you need your answers, you need the reasons for all the good times and bad one off course.

Ok, I think I should finish writing again, coz I am not getting to any conclusion , I’ll write something better next time that’s my ‘vaada’, this topic is not doing the trick for me.

Definition of a Hopeless romantic....

Hopeless Romantic:(dats me i guess)

1: A person who daydreams about romantic occasions and dreams of chances where he/she will be able to perform a romantic act to their love, yet never gets the chance to.

2: This person is in love with love. They believe in fairy tales and love. They're not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that's not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists, the sentimental dreamers, the imaginative, and the fanciful when you get to know them. They often live with rose colored glasses on. They make love look like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone.

3. A hopeless romantic is not the same as a hopeless flirter. A hopeless romantic dreams of who they will spend the rest of their life with and what the two of them will do together. They want to be romanced with sweet simple things and the thoughtful amazing surprises. They dream of being loved but also loving somebody. They don't just want somebody to hold them, they also want to hold someone. They realize that love isn't just about one person but both people, they are hopelessly in love with being loved AND loving back.

4. Someone that thinks of love passionately.

5. A hopeless romantic is one who looks for the a singular person on this world that makes their world come together. They are indeed looking for the man or woman of their dreams. As a result, they prefer not to live in reality. The hopeless romantic knows the reality of love is that reality has no business being in love. This is why they will often perform grandiose gestures that may be seen as unsettling or borderline crazy to non-romantics. But to the fellow few romantics, these same gestures will be adored as beautifully and obscenely quixotic. And such is the "hope" of the hopeless romantic- to not only find the one who loves receiving such love, but loves giving such love. And the true hopeless romantic would always rather give than receive. Because they know then and only then, will there be true love....

30th august 2008, the day all started

"Love is like an hour glass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties, that’s when he became a poet and she became a poem…”

I was cheerful , reached college with no plans whatsoever, regular meetings with some juniors and my seniors, suddenly I got a call on my cell, a known but almost forgotten number, this number flashed after 3-4 months, had her online we planned a sudden meeting at a nearest so called mall , I was rushing out of my college , my juniors were stopping me, but I had to rush , because I wanted to meet her, no offence I always had a soft corner for her, and nobody had the better priority as compared to her, well whatever, we finally met , she was looking stunning (as always but you will need my eyes to admire her eyes) , we were talking like anything , I was talking nonsense , she was equally competing for the similar kind of nonsense, so point is we were roaming here and there ,talking bullshit ideologies and nothing practical, but again I was impressive and she was stunning…

Later that evening the same number again flashed on my cell, luckily I was outside of my house, we again had another stupid conversation resulted in an informal beginning of an affair, god knows how I managed my sleep that night, I must admit, I planned almost everything for my rest of the life, next day I had to reach back Gurgaon, need to report to my office and I was in no mood to leave Moradabad, Moradabad was never been so beautiful then to this fateful day. I wanted to meet her, I wanted to see her face , but I never felt so helpless , this was my first official romantic experience, Well somehow me and my X managed next 13 days over the phone only , she had her own restrictions of home but still she managed 2-3 calls daily till I planned another trip to Moradabad, we planned our first official date, she had her practical or something , and In old town some “ juloos or some pad- yatra “ for some minister was scheduled but neither me nor she was aware of it, she called me at the same mall at 12:30 , I was there at 12:00 never wanted myself to be late on my first date, and I was waiting for her and trust the only thing which she actually helped me to improve is my patience and my waiting skills, finally she came and I can still visualize each and every thing she is entering through that automatic doors of that mall, a blow of air on her face , her hair moving from her head to face and then she saw me and smiled, she was wearing a grey t-shirt and a black jeans and she was looking absolutely stunning, I can still hear the tin-tina-city of the wind chimes when she entered , she was walking and with those curious and inquisitive eyes , she was desperately wanted me a hug from me I can bet on that, but we were in Moradabad there were some limitations , we settle down together , she was silent , avoiding eye contact , I was silent , only watching her, actually admiring her, we both were silent despite of the fact that we use to talk for hours prior to this Date , then she said “ please aise mat dekho yaar’, and I said “ you have the most beautiful eyes in the universe and I can cherish each and every moment admiring your eyes”. The day we actually elaborated the meaning of “Rock on”….

PS:- All the character of this story are fictious any relation with the real world would be purely coincidental.  issued in public interest